The worst of times is nothing we can't handle, it's just so strange. It's as though a tantrum-mode button was installed one night while he was sleeping, and it's like motion-sensitive, because it goes off without a moments notice. Last night, it was because he did not want me to put his pajama pants on him (I think; there have been so many in the last few days I'm losing track!), oh and he didn't want to get out of our bed to go say good night to my dad (because he knew his crib was the next stop!). This morning it was the now-famous fb status "tv tantrum". And then it was changing his diaper after his nap. And then it was putting pants on. And then it was because I had to put the towels in the dryer for TWO seconds and had to stop playing with him to do it. Seriously, these are the heart-breaking, red-in-the-face, HUGE tear drop, screaming like a banshee type fits. Part of me can't help but laugh, because it's just so silly, the things he gets upset about, but the other part of me just goes, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!"
I think the worst part has become bedtime. Since he was sick those two weeks ago, and got out of his routine, getting back into his routine has become a nightmare. So much in fact that I don't think it has anything to do with the routine, I think it's that whole tantrum switch installation theory again. Oh, and stupid daylight savings is NOT helping things. The past two nights have been horrible; tonight, especially harrowing. I held him and rocked back and forth and sang at least six lullabies and recited a night-night book that we've read so many times I know it (mostly) by heart. He seemed calm and ready to lay down, but the minute I put him in the crib it was like he was spring-loaded, and he jumped straight up and began screaming hysterically. Picked him up - no screaming. So this dance continued until finally Alex came to try and help. That seemed to just make it worse. He wanted me to hold him, but even as I was holding him he could barely catch his breath he was sobbing so hard, and began wildly repeating "Wove (love) you, wove youuuu, wovvve youuuuu", which just BROKE my heart into a million pieces. (And I'm the tough one. We call it "Good Cop/Mom" over here). It used to be that when he would cry, we could let him cry it out most of the time and it wouldn't take long, but these latest bedtime hysterics are the kind that end up in him gagging himself and throwing up if we just leave him to cry. I broke down and resorted to giving him a bottle (yes, my son is 21 months old and still takes a bottle before naps and sometimes before bed), hoping it would soothe him. Luckily it did, but that can't be the norm, nor do I want it to be. I want the baby that used to willingly and readily go straight to his crib after a few lullabies and snuggles. I'm not quite sure what we should try next, since, again, if he gets this hysterical, CIO is not an option (again because of the whole throwing up thing). Sometimes over the last few weeks if he was particularly restless or inconsolable, sitting by his crib and holding his hand through the slats would work. But nothing worked tonight. Again, nothing we can't handle (as if we had a choice, lol!), it's just so fascinating (maddening, but also fascinating) how toddlers can change their preferences and moods and behaviors on a dime. Wish us luck that the bedtime issues will start to resolve themselves as his "testing" phase works itself out.
At the same time, in the midst of that kind of frustration, I find myself wanting to go get Dresden out of bed and play with him, and I can't wait to get him out of his crib every morning to see what he'll come up with next or how he'll make me laugh. Even the worst of times are still really the best of times.
Love,
Cassie
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