Shocked?! I promise I won't make a habit of the no pictures thing! But today I just went outside with the boy, no phone, no camera, nothing, and we had a grand time! So I wanted to write about it...
I have to preface our adventure with this: I've decided today, God gave me a son (in part) so I would have to get over my fear of bugs. If you get to know me well, or are members of my immediate family, you know this - I would saw my own arm off to escape a room of cockroaches if I had to. In high school, Megan Huster and I once gave the keys to her car to a COMPLETE stranger outside the old (now a Ross?) Barnes and Noble in Grapevine, because it was cricket season and the parking lot was crawling with them in biblical proportions, to go and pull her car up to us on the sidewalk so we would not have to walk through the sea of them. (No, I am not making this up). I once had a three-hour long stand off with a roach in my bathroom...The stories are endless. But Dresden? He's never met a bug he didn't like! He thinks they are hilarious, the way they flit dizzily, and hop suddenly, and fly drunkenly around your head and feet. He gets down on THEIR level and says "Hi bugs!" and "Bye bugs!" like he's a little bug whisperer. I asked Alex the other day, during a close encounter with a Cranefly, "Why isn't he afraid of them!?!" (Yes. There. I said it. I'm afraid of mosquito hawks/craneflies. They're just crazy. Seriously, STOP flying out at me from NOWHERE!) Alex said he doesn't know he's supposed to be. My question is, with all the shrieking and jumping he sees me do when a bug is around, how could he NOT know to fear them?!? Instead, he thinks it's HILARIOUS.
And hilarious is exactly what he found it today as I was purposely chasing grasshoppers for him to watch as they jumped, because at first, their jumping scared me, which made him laugh hysterically. I had him first notice their buzzing sound, and then, as luck would have it, one of the buzzing sounds was followed by a "hop" that we could see. He was hooked on "hoppers" (as he now calls them) from that point forward. And then, the craziest thing happened. I found myself excited by the prospect of finding another hopper for him to watch. I tried to get him to run through the grass himself, but of course, he wanted me to do it instead. What could I do? I couldn't let my fear of them hopping on me (and yes, I know, these are the tiny little brown baby grasshoppers, not the mammoth locust-sized ones. Again, fear of insects - HUGE) ruin this chance for hysterical laughter and smiles, and learning. When we'd find one on the sidewalk, I was forced to get kind of close to it so I could point it out to him. He, of course, got right down on his stomach to look at it, or close enough, until it inevitably hopped away, but I realized that his fearlessness was helping me, and teaching me, that these little grasshoppers were actually kind of cute, and also, did I not always notice how they hopped AWAY from me, not toward me? (Well, usually. I had a bad experience with a bird-sized grasshopper at yearbook camp in Austin a decade ago, and that can change a person). It was delightful; there's just no other way of putting it. It was a beautiful Spring day and we were hunting grasshoppers.
But it didn't even stop with grasshoppers. Next, we happened upon a moth. Normally, moths terrify me too. (They don't have mouths people. That's NOT normal. And they never pay attention to where they're going and so there's ALWAYS a risk of one flying in your face. Ugh.) I never thought in a MILLON years I'd ever say this. But this moth was SO pretty. I found myself pointing out to Dresden how interesting this moth was, with a body of dusky blue (seriously, it was an amazing color), and wings of cream with light beige markings. He was a perfect, petite, low-flying (not flit in your face) moth, and I wasn't afraid to get as close as Dresden did. By this time, I was feigning fear and hopping around as the moth flew around our feet, because it was cracking Dresden up, and I'll do anything (really. anything.) for a laugh from my son. But all I felt was peace. And joy.
I will remember the simple joy of our little hour outside, forever. And probably want to do it again tomorrow.
Oh, but I draw the line at Craneflies. ;-)
Love,
Cassie
P.S. - Since this whole post was about bugs...Today, through a series of random tangents, I was led to google Spider Wasps. I cannot even believe I live in a world where these creatures exist. Scarred for life is all I can say. Scarred.
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